Some weeks ago, I decided to go back on to Match.com and see who to start a conversation with. I have to say some of those profile pictures are pretty scary looking. I am not sure what it is like from the male perspective but my guess is they are seeing scary pictures also.
I have been conversing with Bill. He lives on the west coast, has travelled, is an experienced sailor, owns his own 41-foot steel boat, has sailed the British Columbia coast for decades and from what I have found out he and his family sailed to Florida some 25 years ago.
He writes quite long emails. Talks of blue water sailing to the Galapagos, French Polynesian Islands. I told him I had planned and researched that route a couple of years ago and then I went on to explain the many restrictions and procedures that would have to be done. His response was, no big deal, just arrive there anyway, hmmmm. That was far too glib for my liking. He also spoke about traveling the canals in England, exciting! and a number of other adventures. He sounded capable and confident, which I am quite sure he believes and he might be.
The boxes are being checked off. It would seem that this might be a fairly good match except when I caught Lie #1, then I began to dig deeper into who this person is and would this really be a good fit.
Bill had provided me with the boat name, Scorpius.
All I had to do was google the boat name. I love Google.
This landed me on the Cruisers Forum which I have been on before seeking information. I found a posting by Bill back in January stating he was 72 years old (not 67 as he stated on Match, Lie #1), and through conversation discovered his birthday is in November which will now make him 73 years old!
He wrote a post wanting to get back to blue water cruising. He was looking for a couple to crew with him for the next five years and in exchange at the end of the five years would give the boat to the couple – free. He readily admitted that this was a very unique offering but his desire was to get back to ocean sailing. My feeling now is that Bill is getting a wee bit past his prime and he knows it. Tic Toc.
I read all of the responses, most wished him good luck with that, some of course (and me) thought five years was way too long to expect strangers to jump on board and live happily ever after. Others thought sailing for a short period of time locally would be the sensible and most prudent thing to do. I also saw several couples respond that they were interested. After reading all of this I did tell him in an email that I read his posting. I am quite sure that took him aback but he said he was actually glad that I saw it. To his credit he stated he had two couples that he took out for two weeks at a time this past summer. The first couple pretty much ran as fast as they could once back to shore, he blamed the wife. The second couple were experienced sailors from Ontario but did tell him they preferred to be on their own and felt his age was not a good fit. What isn’t sitting right?
Well after numerous long emails from Bill this is what does not sit right. No matter what topic I wrote about his response was very long winded, all knowing and is going to teach me because I cannot possibly know as much as him or have eyeballs in my head to read the news or have access to the internet! There is no denying he is knowledgeable BUT that does not make him all knowing or to assume the person he is communicating with has no knowledge at all. There is a way to convey information and then there is Bill.
As an example, I spoke about recent events with the space program and received a very long email about the history of space flight. Geesh! Interestingly when I have pointed out that certain information is not correct or that I already know about this or that, his emails became a lot shorter and I am now down to one-line responses.
I believe Bill to be well meaning but very accustom to being the speaker and all knowing in a relationship, possibly a generational thing, although I am classified as being in the same generation but at the very end of the boomers. Thank goodness for that!
I am thinking that the two pairs of couples had enough after two weeks of his long-winded talks.
Lie #2, his profile picture is now obviously ten years younger as compared to his true age. His age does not faze me in the least but it is the purposeful avoidance of stating the true facts that I cannot tolerate.
In conclusion: here are some DON’T’S for you men when posting your profile on a dating site if you are serious about meeting someone.
- Do not post your profile picture from ten years ago, it will bite you in the ass.
- If your age is 71 or 75 say so, do not say you are 64 or 65. Watch it ladies it happens a lot.
- Keep your write up to a few paragraphs, do not write it like a romance book. Am I being too cynical? If it all sounds or reads too good to be true then we know it isn’t.
- I do not want to see you hugging your dog, looks like it would come first.
- Do not show pictures of you holding your new born grandchildren, I want nothing to do with taking on the grandparent roll (unless it is my grandchild) or conversations that constantly revolve around children or for that matter your dog, cat or bird!
- Do not have a mustache that hangs below your chin! Unless of course it is in support of Movember
- Don’t talk to me as though it is 1950. I have a brain; believe I am well read and informed. I know how to use a wrench.
- Don’t say you are well travelled and use cruise ships in the same sentence
- Don’t state you like to hold hands, walk on the beach, sit by the fire, blah, blah, blah
- If you state that you are athletic and toned you had better have pictures to back that up! I can see you sucking in that gut while posing with a bicycle.
- And for God’s sake do not post a profile picture of you in a HOSPITAL BED!